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Literature Text
You tell me that I’m lucky
I wonder if that’s true
If I was so lucky
How did I end up with you
You tell me that I’m lucky
But the lucky one here isn’t me
There’s nothing more that I could say
That could ever make you see
Every time I try to make things right
Things always get worse, never better
I guess you’ll love me for a limited time
And I’ll still love you forever
You give me no attention
And get mad when I give it to others
So what if I’m talking to another guy
My guy friends are like my brothers
You tell me that I’m lucky
But it wasn’t me you talked to
I always feel like they’re more important
I guess it’s better than being without you
An hour and a half we had
I was looking forward to it
Only because you’d be there
But today my heart finally split
We had so long
And you had so many chances
Was it really too much
To ask me to one of those stupid dances
You’ve asked all the girls I know to one
Even if they said no repeatedly
If I was really lucky, like you said
You would have already asked me
You tell me that I’m lucky
I’m lucky because you love me
That is what you said
If I were the lucky one, it would have been you whose heart bled
Fairy tale endings just don’t happen for girls like me
At least if I died tomorrow, then I would be free
I wonder if that’s true
If I was so lucky
How did I end up with you
You tell me that I’m lucky
But the lucky one here isn’t me
There’s nothing more that I could say
That could ever make you see
Every time I try to make things right
Things always get worse, never better
I guess you’ll love me for a limited time
And I’ll still love you forever
You give me no attention
And get mad when I give it to others
So what if I’m talking to another guy
My guy friends are like my brothers
You tell me that I’m lucky
But it wasn’t me you talked to
I always feel like they’re more important
I guess it’s better than being without you
An hour and a half we had
I was looking forward to it
Only because you’d be there
But today my heart finally split
We had so long
And you had so many chances
Was it really too much
To ask me to one of those stupid dances
You’ve asked all the girls I know to one
Even if they said no repeatedly
If I was really lucky, like you said
You would have already asked me
You tell me that I’m lucky
I’m lucky because you love me
That is what you said
If I were the lucky one, it would have been you whose heart bled
Fairy tale endings just don’t happen for girls like me
At least if I died tomorrow, then I would be free
Another one of my spur of the moment poems... I don't really want to talk about it. I know it's really bad, but I have to have some type of outlet for my emotions... No negative comments.
© 2007 - 2024 TwilightHinata
Comments17
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Things always get worse, never better
I guess you’ll love me for a limited time
(Hm, "not better" would work more nicely, and then "short time", because limited is too long.)
I guess it’s better than being without you
(feels too long.)
Was it really too much
To ask me to one of those stupid dances
(I think you cut it off too early?)
You tell me that I’m lucky
I’m lucky because you love me
That is what you said
If I were the lucky one, it would have been you whose heart bled
(Well, either change it into a five-liner or work with the wording, but two things: 1. "But if I were the lucky one" is a suggestion and 2. It's got a different rhyming pattern than the rest of the poem [not including the last two lines].)
Er...yes, well, just thought I'd add that my CC is not to be taken as a must, but it's only in case you take the time to edit and want some outside notes to help or something.
Lovely as always.
I guess you’ll love me for a limited time
(Hm, "not better" would work more nicely, and then "short time", because limited is too long.)
I guess it’s better than being without you
(feels too long.)
Was it really too much
To ask me to one of those stupid dances
(I think you cut it off too early?)
You tell me that I’m lucky
I’m lucky because you love me
That is what you said
If I were the lucky one, it would have been you whose heart bled
(Well, either change it into a five-liner or work with the wording, but two things: 1. "But if I were the lucky one" is a suggestion and 2. It's got a different rhyming pattern than the rest of the poem [not including the last two lines].)
Er...yes, well, just thought I'd add that my CC is not to be taken as a must, but it's only in case you take the time to edit and want some outside notes to help or something.
Lovely as always.